Change is Never Easy

To make a change is never easy.

Especially when the change you are wanting to make is something that is apart of the way you are.

Growing up I had learned to be out spoken, bull headed and out there or maybe I was just that way. I didn’t want to be walked over by anyone and I was going to show the world that I meant business and that I could do anything I set my mind to.

But I didn’t realize at times, I was going about this in all of the wrong ways. I let small things affect me and become big things. I struggled to get control on my emotions and I go through periods of being very down. I don’t like being a down person because that’s not who I am. I don’t like dwelling in the negative that seem to fill my vision but I find it hard to shake the foggy mess of wallowing in my own pity party that always comes in these low points.

Recently I had someone point out to me that when I get to these low points I let it spread to others and then it spreads like a virus infecting all of those around me and causing an implosion. I was so taken aback because I had not ever thought about it in this manner.

Had I really been poisoning those around me? Had I been causing some sick repetition of turmoil that was coming back to me?

Neither of these questions have a yes or no answer in my case. They are simply questions that have popped up into my mind causing me to think. And I am appreciative that this was brought to my attention, because now I know I need to start the steps to change my way of thinking and therefore my way of conducting myself to better benefit the bigger picture in my life.

The biggest relief I felt recently though, was getting to the root cause of why I had felt this way, to why I had been heading down in to the spiral of negativity. It was all because of a label that had been applied to me. A label I didn’t consider to be a bad thing until it was repeated, repeated, repeated and repeated time and time again. I thought of myself as a strong person but this label was breaking me. My confidence was shaken, my power felt stripped from me.

However now that I know I can feel my power coming back, my confidence coming back, my strength coming back and my life coming back.

Deep down at my core I sparkle and I know glitter runs through my veins but I had been dulled down because of a label.

How could I have let this happen? How could I let one thing take so much control of my life? It’s puzzling but plausible.

So plausible that it happened and now I need to make a change. I need to rise up and be better, do better and expect better of myself.

To make a change is never easy.

But it is necessary.

To make a change is never easy.

But I am willing and looking forward to what I can learn to help me pull myself out of this terrible black hole of negativity.

To make a change is never easy.

But it is time.

 

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Mini Rant : October 20, 2017

I feel I can’t be alone in this but USPS is driving me crazy!!!!!!

I get monthly subscriptions as you can see from my different reviews here on the blog. This month is no different except that it has taken almost all month to get two of them!!!

Quite literally two of my boxes have gone from our local hub to across the state and then back again to the hub here and spending days at a time in these different spots! I would understand if these were new things or coming from somewhere weird but to have to travel across the state twice is down right ridiculous!!

Watching the tracking information on my two boxes has been about the death of me because I am excitedly waiting to that I can show you all of the cool things I get! But by the time I get them it’s the end of the month and too late to actually try things in a timely manner and be able to review it in time! I’m hoping that this doesn’t become a pattern but I guess we will see as the holiday season is picking up!

 

But really does any one else deal with this trouble in the US and with USPS?! I really want to call and ask why this is a thing! And then I have also wondered if getting a PO Box near our local hub would make my life easier. What are your thoughts? Does anyone else find it easier? Comment and let me know!

Grow UP & Get OVER IT!

RANT!

I don’t understand where we lost the ability to be happy for another person when they succeed. I am watching a group of grown adults tear down one individual because they don’t like how she “treated” another person. However they fail to realized that each and every story has two sides, two versions of the truth and that we are all second hand in the information given. So my question is when did, second hand information become grounds to openly hate another individual? I don’t recall that ever being something that is acceptable.

I can understand personal differences. I can understand differences of opinion. And I can understand those being reasons not to be friends with someone but since when do you have to be friends with every person…last I checked never!

The worst part about all of this is that this is supposed to be a some what professional organization. But they lack everything professional!!!!!!

I’ll tell you about professionalism! Professionalism is going above and beyond for a person who has slandered me, my name and everything I stand for because it’s more important for people to see that I can be professional in a situation when it’s called for. Because in my mind my reputation is more important than being petty about things that have happened in the past.

The past is in the past for a reason. Leave it there! How is an organization supposed to grow when they can’t take a step forward into the new year into the future into the coming things. As cliché as this might be living in the past gets you no where and sitting there pondering everything about it does nothing but fester the open wound. It becomes an infection that will eat away everything that surrounds it!

I know better than anyone else that all of this is easier said than done. TRUST ME! I have dealt with my fair share of drama, mean girls and just down right rude people. But I never let them change how I looked at myself. Yes it was frustrating and yes there were day’s I wanted to disappear. It’s hard and it hurts! But how do we grow as people? How do we grow as individuals? We learn from the pain, we learn that when times get hard you have to get down and dirty to pull yourself above. Not pull others down to your mud hole that you may have wallowed in.

I find it sad and down right appalling that I in my short 23 years have learned that I have to see things from both sides of the tracks, from post sides of the story, from a different perspective all together, but women twice my senior, old enough to be my mother and some old enough to be my grandmother, cannot look past their own hurt feelings and vanity to put things in the past and step forward.

This is why I have titled this rant GROW UP & GET OVER IT! Because that’s exactly what needs to happen here! At what point do you lift the heaviness from your heart and from your life and move forward! I will tell you the steps are much liter and your next steps feel like you are floating into your future!